29 November 2007

Confessions

This working mom thing is hard. Other teachers with small kids have told me that it will get easier, but I don’t see it getting easier any time soon. Mister and I are trying to get our house in better shape so we can sell it, and unfortunately, there is always laundry and dishes to be done. And a baby generates a lot more of both. I can’t really complain- since Mister is on sabbatical this semester he does a lot more housework than I. Fortunately, clean clothes almost magically appear in my drawers and closet on a pretty regular basis, thanks to him.

I just really, really hate giving up time with Beany to do work. From the second I walk in the door I just want to be with her. There’s really nothing quite like the way her face lights up when she sees me. It’s amazing. I usually attempt to get some work-related things done after she goes to bed, but we have a really hard time getting her to sleep before 9. By the time I get dinner ready, feed and bathe her and get her to bed, I’m wiped out. And since I get up at 5 am, I should really be going to bed around 9 myself. Last night, sitting in front of the computer, I could hardly keep my eyes open. Even though I keep all my old lessons, I can’t bring myself to recycle them, and we no longer have most of the necessary books anyway. We’re expected to collect and organize student data up the wazoo, but I think we are spending so much time collecting that it leaves little time to really process the information and use it in a meaningful way. And of course we are still scrambling for other things we need for our day-to-day work with the kids.

I was observed this morning, and I actually wrote the lesson this morning before school started, something I have never done. Usually the lesson’s done at least a full 24 hours in advance. But last night, I couldn’t get my brain to work the right way. And since I have to make things up as I go along, I was really at a loss. Luckily I do work well under pressure, even though it’s something I try not to do. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve modified lessons a period or two before, because the perfect idea appears suddenly. Though being unable to get copies has sort of hindered that. And I must confess that it’s really, really hard to care when it seems like the people around you can’t be bothered. I am still surprised and disappointed that my concerns went unaddressed, especially since I am not a chronic complainer (outside the blog, of course) and while I may ask for help with difficult kids, I never ask for help with the teaching aspect of my job.

Thus the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants theme continues.

2 comments:

17 (really 15) more years said...

Thankfully, you have your priorities in order. I've seen so many teacher/parents put work before their own children, and quite frankly, it sickens me.

The data thing drives me up the wall. There aren't enough hours in the day (well, not enough hours that I'm willing to sacrifice anyway) to collect, process, and utilize it in any way that makes sense. If they think that I have the energy to differentiate anything after I sort through piles of that crap, they are sadly mistaken.

Schoolgal said...

Most prep time is taking away with other admin junk. Paperwork is getting worse and the UFT in all it's glory is investigating this situation.

Klein wants us to follow a business model, yet we are not allowed to go near a copy machine. All copies have to be approved too. Does that happen in the business world?