When I can't say what I want...

I write it in a letter instead...

Dear Mrs. *****
I am sorry if I overreacted to your son’s behavior today. But frankly, there’s nothing funny about a child writing “Die, Die, Die!!” on his forearm in big, bright blue letters. There’s also nothing funny about a child taking the cord from the window shade and wrapping it around his neck. Maybe I just have a lame sense of humor. I would think, instead of being angry, that you’d be grateful that we were diligent and informed you of what your son did.

I know you are mad because the two kids who informed me about the cord incident “pick on him constantly” but to be honest, two of his friends also brought the incident to my attention, and I overheard one of these friends saying something about Sonny sporting a plastic bag over his head.

And when it comes to being "picked on" he is the instigator more often than not.

Maybe Sonny will grow up to be sensitive and thoughtful, but right now, he’s a little asshole.

Sincerely,
Happy to be childless

Dear Students:
It kills me that you all are so fast to snitch on each other when someone does something stupid, but when someone does something potentially dangerous, you clam up. Worse, some of you choose to reduce others to tears for doing the right thing. Normally I do love you all to pieces, but today you really pissed me off, in part because I think you still don’t get it.

Sincerely,
No Munchkins for you this week...