15 June 2007

I have 20 minutes

...and I can't expect anyone to be out there, since I haven't posted since...February? My daughter was born in March, and I've been back at work since the middle of May, just in time to wrap up the school year. Truth be told, I've been more focused on next year, working on the curriculum and units, because the kids' end-of-the-year shenanigans were already in full swing when I came back. My replacement was not nearly as structured as I am, so I returned to a room that looked like a stiff wind had blown through, and my carefully thought-out seating plan went out the window too. The kids were allowed by Replacement Teacher to sit wherever they wanted, and I didn't have it in me to make changes.

I came back just in time for our Quality Review, which went well. I found myself feeling both flattered and frustrated to be chosen as one of the teachers to meet with the reviewer and be observed by him. Being out for as long as I was made me feel very out of sorts and unsure of myself.

I don't think I have anything profound to say. Sleep deprivation does weird things to your brain. Today I was thinking that I don't know how law students and med students manage to accomplish all that work because I am in such a fog. Last night at home I attempted to print out some pages with the learning standards from the NYS website, and this morning I discovered that I printed the wrong grade. I feel a little guilty for not doing very much "real" teaching, but my head is so foggy that I think they're better off. It's oddly fascinating to me, the ways in which I am spacing out. Trying to write strong units, and make them really good and thoughtful and exciting, is always hard for me, because there are just so many ways to do things, so many possible readings, questions, skills that the kids need. Now, I don't have my former luxury of time; I don't have the luxury of thinking and re-thinking and then thinking some more. Now, I have to do it to get it done, and I wonder if that's going to make my work better than it's been. I want that to be so.

My husband shared a cool quote with me when I told him the above, but of course I can't remember it exactly. I think it's "Good is the enemy of great" or something similar.

I missed my students like crazy. Even though I'd rather be home with the baby, they made it easier.


Schoolgal said...

Wonderful news (and you know I was on pins and needles wondering).

I'm amazed you were able to get back into "teaching mode" and think about next year. At least you are writing a real curriculum. Ours was a work of fiction because of all the test preps we will really have to do.

Take the summer to enjoy the baby!

Mrs. Bluebird said...

I'm glad you're back posting.

NYC Educator said...

Congratulations on your new baby. That's the best thing there is.

Mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

May your sleep deprivation not make you completely crazy! (Nice to have that little one, isn't it?)

X said...

Congrats on the new addition to your family!